Storytime take 2...and my internal battle

I took Avery to Storytime at the library again today, and I'm now realizing that things are probably going to get worse before they get better. Avery was fine when we first arrived, and she was ok when another little girl sat down at a table with us, although she did want to sit on my lap. When we were called into the room for Storytime, Avery realized what was happening before we even went into the room. I still took her in, hoping that her screaming and crying would quickly die down, but no such luck. I stayed in the room for about 2-3 minutes while everyone else was arriving, and tried to calm her down, but we ended up watching through the windows again today.

I know it will take time, and I'm obviously going to keep trying. However, sometimes it's really tough being a good parent and following through on my decisions. Avery didn't want to stay and watch the kids as much today, and I spent much of the time trying to keep her interested and battling tantrums. I definitely considered leaving, but I don't want to give up that easily. I find myself having internal battles in my mind, as I'm sure many parents do. If I was an outsider watching myself and Avery,  I would say "Avery needs socialization...just take her to the library....keep going and eventually she'll like it....put her in as many social situations to help her overcome her anxiety....etc etc." However, this is so much easier said than done! In the moment, it's really hard for me to watch Avery cling to me and be afraid and see all of the other kids laughing and playing and having a great time! I find myself questioning my own parenting techniques, and asking myself "did I do this to her...did I cause this...is this normal?" However, as quickly as my insecurities come on, they also are calmed as Storytime is over, the kids come out of the room, and Avery plays happily for the next 45 minutes with several toddlers and many of the moms tell me "my kid did the same thing at first...just give it time."

And so we will.